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If New Year’s resolutions are meant to make us better people, I’m boarding a C-5 Super Galaxy plane looking into 2024 with a mixture of hope and trepidation. This may apply to those of us who are looking ahead.
Solved:
We don’t scream when a driver approaches us with headlights brighter than a star going into supernova.
We don’t complain or whine when the movie theater is so loud we feel like our skulls are going to crack.
Don’t curse when the snow blower changes direction and snow sticks to your face or gets stuck on the inside of your glasses.
We don’t groan as we painstakingly dispose of junk that may be contributing to a 10% reduction in the size of the Amazon rainforest.
We are not going to write a nasty letter to a newspaper or anyone else you can think of about the amount of trash that accumulates along Glenn Highway every year.
When computers, iPhones, printers, modems, routers, ring systems and other technology-related equipment in the house brutally torment our souls, we do not take out hammers or other tools of destruction.
With steely determination, we will sit silently and silently while a series of obnoxiously loud commercials play on the television. Instead of complaining, change the channel or leave the room.
During a power outage, you won’t be harassed or called multiple times to ask when the power will be restored.
We promise not to relentlessly complain to the Department of Transportation about icy, bumpy roads that rattle bones and loosen bolts in the car’s engine block.
We will stop burdening our wives, friends, friends, and others with relentless rants about the freeze and thaw cycles of winter weather.
At the grocery store, finding the cashier is like finding water in the Gobi Desert, and you try to suppress your frustration.
No more name-calling or spikes in blood pressure when you can’t log into a portal containing important health information.
When we encounter the dreaded words “some assembly required,” we no longer blame the manufacturer’s poor instructions rather than our own mechanical deficiencies. This one is especially mine.
We would not be surprised if the U.S. Congress continues to believe that governing the country is one of its lowest priorities.
We resolve not to frown or grimace when things don’t go our way in 2024. This is probably as good as it gets.
When someone like a store clerk tells me to have a nice day, I remember those words and do my best to have a good day.
If any or all of the above resolutions fail, we resolve not to blame ourselves or blame others.
Frank E. Baker I’m a lifelong Alaskan and freelance writer living in Eagle River.
The views expressed here are those of the author and are not necessarily endorsed by the Anchorage Daily News, which welcomes a wide range of viewpoints.To submit your work for consideration, please send an email Commentary(at)adn.com. Submissions of less than 200 words should be sent to: Letters@adn.com or Click here to submit from any web browser.Read all guidelines for letters and comments here.
